It’s a safe bet that writing the blurb for a new book wouldn’t make any author’s top ten list of joyously anticipated tasks. And yet there it is, as necessary as it is tedious, and not to be neglected before the book itself is presented to its hoped for audience. I’ve just written the blurb for my new book, and I’d love to know whether your think it does what it’s supposed to do.
That purpose, of course, is to provide an incentive to people to actually read the book. The same is true for the brief bio I’ve also prepared for the back of the book, since anyone can find out as much as they want about an author today simply by going on-line.
The book is called The Lafayette Campaign, a Tale of Deception and Elections. I won’t tell you any more than that for now, because the test of a good blurb is whether it would lure you in all by itself.
So without further ado, here are the current drafts of my blurb and bio. Would they dispose you to buy my book? Why not? Any and all suggestions for improvement would be gratefully received.
* * *
America is rushing headlong into an election year and all of the scheming and mud-slinging that go along with one. Candidates are jumping into the race like jack rabbits, from former Wisconsin Dairy Queen Roxanne Rollins to Texas televangelist Randall Wellhead. Anyone would think the doors of some political Bedlam had been thrown open, letting a mob of raving lunatics loose onto the primary trail. That’s what cybersecurity super sleuth Frank Adversego is thinking just before his own course veers wildly out of control. What follows is a fast-paced, suspense-filled race to find out who’s trying to hack a presidential election and to stop them before they do.
It all begins innocently enough, when Adversego picks up an attractive but maddening young French hitchhiker in the middle of the desert. Soon he’s enlisted by a government agency without a name to find out who is manipulating poll results, and the plots begin to multiply as competing teams of hackers scramble for supremacy and the election hangs in the balance. Adversego is assisted by some familiar faces from The Alexandria Project as well as a cast of fascinating new characters, including a scheming Native American casino manager, a scrum of conservative primary contenders too incredible to be believed anywhere outside of a real American election, and a former Secretary of Defense unwilling to leave anything to chance this time around.
The Lafayette Campaign provides a satirical take on American politics and our infatuation with technology that should give anyone pause: everything you will read is technically accurate, and could really happen.
* * *
Andrew Updegrove, an attorney, has been representing technology companies for more than thirty years and works with many of the organizations seeking to thwart cyber-attacks before they occur. A graduate of Yale University and the Cornell University Law School, he lives in Marblehead, Massachusetts.
Hi again Andrew,
First things first, it felt too long, if the first three paras are all the blurb. I think the blurb should be one para and that’s it. I looked at three books off my shelf – Gibson’s ‘Neuromancer’, a Murakami and a Nesbo – and the blurbs were (a whopping) 137, 73 and 73 (again) respectively.
I’d concentrate on the first of your three paras and slash and burn most of the rest. The third para has to go. The second para reads more like a plot summary so needs cutting except perhaps for the key phrase ‘election hangs in the balance’.
I’d drop claims of being ‘fast-paced’ and ‘suspense-filled’ and leave that for the reader to decide later. I think the blurb is for stuff like (and a slight re-write could result in something like this): ‘the election hangs in the balance and it’s up to super sleuth Frank Adversego to find out who is trying to hack the presidential campaign and stop them before they do’. That gives the potential reader the protagonist, the peril and the potential consequences of failure. I’m not sure they need much more than that?
all the best
Sean
Sean, thanks very much for the thoughtful comments and also for taking so much time (even counting words in other blurbs!). All good advice.
Hi Andy,
Like Sean, I too believe that you are giving too much info (my brain hurts!). Reminds me of an author who had the same sort of a problem with the prolog(ue) for a recent publication titled The Alexandria Project. As W. Shakespeare is purportly said to have written: To be, or not to be. Likewise, I think ‘KISS’ is appropriate here.
I would go with something like:
America is rushing headlong into an election year and all of the scheming and mud-slinging that go along with one. Cybersecurity super sleuth Frank Adversego is enlisted by a government agency without a name to find out who is manipulating (the primaries and) poll results, and the plots begin to multiply as competing teams of hackers scramble for supremacy and the election hangs in the balance.
And maybe:
The Lafayette Campaign provides a satirical take on American politics and our infatuation with technology that should give anyone pause: everything you will read is technically accurate, and could really happen.
The primaries addition is optional!
Hope this helps
Thanks, Richard. The votes for swinging the axe without mercy are piling up. At least, as you already know, the prolog(ue) for The Lafayette Campaign is so short it’s just a Prelude.
Keep in mind, though, that what I’m talking about is the back cover of a physical book. There’s a lot of room there that will just be blank, which doesn’t even look good, so brevity for brevity’s sake is not only the loss of a sales opportunity, but a negative design feature. And the text for a hard cover book jacket would traditionally be even longer.
I could solve the blank space problem with a quote from someone with name recognition, but sadly I don’t know anyone appropriate to hit ask to provide one.
I do agree that for an eBook blurb, the text I started with would be too long.
Andy
I was agreeing with the previous comments about the length. I actually stopped reading after the first sentence of the second paragraph – sorry. Having read your rationale, I think you can keep the length you want if you change the later stuff. Make it a little less conversational, and more point-like. eg, “We meet a mysterious hitchhiker, then a nameless government agency.”
Part of the problem might be that the last sentence in the first paragraph sounds as if it should be the last one in a blurb. Don’t know. Groping here.
rjb
Thanks – this is all good and useful input. I’m tied up with some other stuff, but will try and post a revised version later today or tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Ok, having read the first book, this is what catches my eye to read # 2 (which I would anyway 🙂 ).
It begins innocently enough. Adversego picks up an attractive but maddening young French hitchhiker in the middle of the desert. Plus he’s enlisted by a government agency without a name to find out who’s manipulating election poll results. Some familiar faces from The Alexandria Project join a scheming Native American casino manager and electoral candidates Randall Well head from Texas and dairy queen Roxanne Rollins of Wisconsin. Without trying, Adversego finds himself fixing another puzzle.
Adan, thanks for the reaction. All accurate, and I’m glad to hear that you’re planning on reading the book. The preliminary cover is done, and I just got the page layout design yesterday to approve, so still on target for release by the end of the month.
When I devide on a book to read, I look at the cover, the title and scan the blurb. I then glip to the first page and read the first couple of sentences. If that makes me wsnt to read the page, I buy the book.
I think your blurb gives lots of information, but I think it’s too long and I’m not sure that you need the second paragraph which starts to read a little more like a dhort synopsis. Keep the hooks and tantilisers …
Thanks very much for the feedback, Julia. And re the typos – very much been there/done that.