With the assistance of faithful readers of this blog, I’m ready to send the back cover text for the print version of The Lafayette Campaign off to the cover designer; the same material will go on the book’s Amazon page. My sincere thanks to each of those that have commented. Your input has been invaluable
With that by way of introduction here is what I believe is final, at least until I get a cover proof back from the designer. Only the first paragraph below would go on the landing page at Amazon, with the balance displaying only to those that click through. (Of course, having said “final” doesn’t mean that further comments and suggestions wouldn’t be gratefully accepted).
America is rushing headlong into another election year, but something is wrong – the polls don’t match reality. It’s up to cybersecurity super sleuth Frank Adversego to find the Black Hats [fixed: who] are trying to hack the presidential election, and stop them before they do.
The action begins when a nameless government agency recruits Adversego to find out who’s manipulating the polls, but he soon learns that the voting results are at risk as well. From then on, it’s a race against time to see who will stop who as the presidential election – and Adversego’s life – hang in the balance.
In this latest Frank Adversego thriller, you’ll meet a scheming Native American casino manager, a scrum of presidential candidates too incredible to be believed anywhere outside of a real American election, a former Secretary of Defense who will stop at nothing, and an attractive French hitchhiker that Adversego rescues in the middle of a desert, and soon wishes he hadn’t.
The Lafayette Campaign provides a satirical take on American politics and our infatuation with technology that will make readers pause and wonder: could this really happen?
Andrew Updegrove brings a rare combination of drama, satire and technical accuracy to his writing. The result is a book you can’t put down that tells you things you might wish you didn’t know.
Admiral James G. Stavridis, retired Commander, U.S. European Command and NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, and current Dean of the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy
* * *
Andrew Updegrove, an attorney, has been representing technology companies for more than thirty years and works with many of the organizations seeking to thwart cyber-attacks before they occur. A graduate of Yale University and the Cornell University Law School, he lives in Marblehead, Massachusetts.
Hi Andy,
Typo Para 1, second sentence, ‘Black Hats wo’ should be ‘Black Hats who’.
Second Para, second sentence: I still have a problem with two ‘who’s’ together – from this side of the Atlantic, I believe that the second should be: whom, but I will happily conform to USA practice if you believe otherwise.
Third Para.: Do you really need “In this latest Frank Adversego thriller,”? I spent some time wondering if it should be Frank or Adversego, but both are mentioned in the foregoing paragraphs. [I know it is a thriller, because I have already read it] but should an author have to tell a potential reader – if said reader has read The Alexandria Project (“TAP”), it should be self-evident, and if not then they should go out and buy TAP! To me the omission of the above quoted opening phrase would not be missed, i.e. starting You’ll …
I like the Admiral’s endorsement, and will email you directly with other suggestions.
Get it out the door already!
Richard, thanks as always for your thoughts and for your ever-appreciated eagle-typo eye. I’m not sure how two spell checkers missed that. Hmm.
On the “who’s” vs. “whom is” the problem is mostly that it just sounds much too stuffy and awkward for something as shallow and breathless as a book blurb. In the text of the book itself, I would be much more scrupulous. For a blurb, I usually rework the sentence entirely to make the issue go away, but I’m somewhat painted into a corner here for various reasons too tedious to pick apart, but mostly they have to do with avoiding repetition too close together.
You’re quite right that “In this latest…” is not necessary (although some referential words are needed in any event to introduce what comes next, so why not this?) The reason I chose these particular words is purely for marketing purposes, to let people know that it’s part of a series. It’s possible that someone might decide to buy the first one instead, or perhaps even both.
That said, if I need to reduce the word count for the back cover itself, these will be some of the first words to go, so thanks for highlighting them. I’ll look forward to your direct feedback as well. Meantime, have a fine weekend.
Andrew–
I’ve been away, and haven’t been a part of the process to ready your book’s back matter, etc., but I’ve read it, and will comment. When it comes to book descriptions, less is definitely more. Ask yourself (as though you haven’t done this a hundred times) what is actually added to your description by paragraph 2. With a few words added to graph #1, I think #2 could go.
Barry, thanks for your thoughts. I guess my head may be a decade behind most people commenting, and I’m a bit bemused by it. I say bemused because it’s kind of a commentary on where we are in these days of the Internet, mobile devices, Twitter, etc.
I do see blurbs at Amazon that are only two sentences long (like my first paragraph). What that means is that the author has to convey everything that could possibly be relevant to helping the reader make a decision into two sentences, and short of using the Look Inside feature, it also means that the reader only has those two sentences to work with.
This strikes me as an example of, to coin a term, the “Twitterization” of our lives (I’m sure I’m not the first person to come up with that term). Does this mean that short blurbs are actually better/more effective/more communicative, or just that our attention spans are atrophied to the point that we’re not willing to invest more than a few nanoseconds deciding whether to buy a book that will give us hours of reading pleasure?
I expect that the answer is the latter rather than the former, and my personal reaction is that if so, this isn’t a very good thing.
In this case, the second and third paragraphs are intended to provide a number of hooks. To my way of thinking, the worst that happens is that someone doesn’t finish reading the blurb, while the best is that someone finds something that might not have caught their interest otherwise.
Or perhaps that I’m just being a troglodyte. Which is also possible.
Andrew–
You are no cave dweller, and I do know what you’re saying. But however much we might both decry “twitterization,” it’s important to be clear on just what the purpose of a back-of-the-book description is. What it’s not is a place to go into detail on what the story is about, or what happens in it. It’s sole purpose is to generate curiosity and interest in the person reading the description. This objective is really very different from any other–the description is a marketing tool, plain and simple.
At least that’s the way I approach it. Ideally, you start with an effective tagline in bold type. The one I developed for my latest, soon-to-be-released novel, Deep North, reads this way: “How far would you go to protect your chance for happiness?” That serves to focus the reader for what follows, a description that takes its cue from the tagline. The book is about many things, but I’m hoping the tagline and description will lead potential readers to want to learn more.
Barry, I certainly agree that the sole purpose of the back page text is to inspire the potential reader to take the plunge. No question about it.
Andrew, please forgive my impatience, but will you *please* stop teasing and torturing us? We want to read it!
Looking forward to this. I plan to read it on holiday this August …
I think it works well as is, Andy. The first paradise what readers will see on the book’s Amazon product page. The other paragraphs are hidden. If a potential reader wants more, they can click “more.” Problem of length solved.
Ok, now get us the book 🙂
Ps – glad Frank’s meeting an attractive French hitchhiker, even if he’s gonna regret it 🙂
I think it both captures what you want to tell and hooks the reader into wanting to learn more .
Go for it !!!
Thanks, Mary.
Thank you all, and please be assured that I’m trying to get the book out as soon as I can (as you can imagine, I’m even more impatient than you are.
BUT: you’ve also “guilted” me out. You’ve been so generous with your help, I’m going to post the first few chapters of the book here today. I was going to wait until the day when the book is actually available, but I owe you one. Plus, I don’t think that Adan can wait any longer to meet Josette.
So give me ten or fifteen minutes and then check back.
I’ve just posted a new blog entry with additional detail, plus the chapters link (also on the tab bar above)
Gonna check it out 🙂